So about them hate crimes….
Ei and I were outside of Chapters on Robson last night as she got a call from her mom about the dinner they were going to with some family friends and her mom invited me to come along. Like any girlfriend or boyfrien, being included in family events is a huge deal and having a mother appreciate you being a part of their daughters life is about one of the most wonderfull thins in the world. Not that I am not normally affectionate with Ei, but either way, we were kissing after I accepted the invite, sweet love pecks out of happiness, and as we pulled away from the hug and nuzzel something unexpected happened. Looking up for a split second as we were pulling away from each other to start our stroll to her car, a big guy wearing a black leather jacket spat in our faces. Shocked and disgusted, we were in a daze for a second, and then the impact of what happened fell upon us, and that he just kept walking.
Fumeing – I went over to him, magazines still bundeled in one arm, and shouted “What the fu*k is wrong with you!?!!!”. He turned around, raised his fist, andstepping towards me seemed to be foaming at the mouth with rage. His jaw clenched, “You want to make this something?!!!”, he sputtered. I can’t exactly remember what I said in reply, he kept on walking after I didn't push him as far as he wanted; his knees turned inward and each step seemed plotted and forcefull. At about 5’10” and 220pounds he could have messed us both up if he had wanted. We kept enough of a distance to know that he wouldn’t have been able to get close enough to punch me with how fast he was walking, called him out a few more times in the next block without him being able to gain enough ground on us. Ei dialed the police and I was talking to the operator almost in a complete hase, before he got to Seymour and turned back on us for real this time. Coming at us pretty fast, we backed off and he started down Seymour towards Georgia. At this point we didn’t care how far ahead he was, we were able to keep an eye on him for the length of the block and I could hear the lines of communication crossing as the police passed the message on to officer after officer. They were honing in on his position, but then, just as he had started to cross Georgia he turned back again and started to come towards us.
What kills me is the distance between us, he was so far, but still, we turned and started walking in the other direction – not wanting any more of a personal confrontation with him, just for him to be arrested. In something like three seconds, we turned back to see if he had gained any ground on us, he was gone. I told the operator this, I couldn’t believe it. We had seen a police car a minute before and they said it wasn’t one set out for us but then, now that he was gone, we saw the two they had allocated for us, ran over to them and told them what was up, that we didn't know where he was but knew he couldn't have gotten far.
After a minute of talking the under cover car left to find him and another one raced up Seymour in search with the regular cruiser staying with us to take our statement. The spit was dry on my jacket, all white and crackly, but the majority of it had hit Eirene in the face. It wasn't the spit that just happens normally, he had built this thick gob up just for us. God, I’m so upset. I keep going over it again and again. Had I tackled him immediately after he had done it, his back was turned to us, I could have taken him down. Even if he had rolled over and started whaling on me – someone would have gotten involved. I mean gosh, if seeing to people getting spit on by a big leather jacketed asshole, hearing a big yelling exchange of words, seeing fists raised in anger, seeing the continued pursuit of this guy, one would hope some bystander would care enough to just ask what was going on without a physical fight happens and people take notice. For some reason that doesn't seem like too much to ask for.
I think the worst part is what happened when I got home. Shocked and getting progressively more and more upset out over the whole thing, I cancelled my dinner date with Eirene and went home. I just sat on the bus, doing nothing save but stare out the window scanning every body I saw, hoping to find him, pull the chain, call the cops and have him taken down. But there was nothing more that could be done. I came into the house after 45 minutes of what felt like emotional torture, walked upstairs and saw my dad at the computer. I really wanted to talk to my mom about it - we would just lay around and talk it out, but she wasn’t home, and I knew I needed someone to feel that support from someone and to hear that it was going to be alright.
My dad hasn’t gotten used to the idea of Ei and I in the past 6 months and although it's dissapointing I know he loves me and he has never been rude about it or made me feel aquward. Him calling her my “friend” with inflection is ok for now, I get that it will take time, I mean my god, it has taken me how long to be ok with the fact that I like girls?! Anyways, my dad had his headphones on at the time so I didn’t get straight into it.
“So Dad…I was assaulted tonight…”, like that’s not getting into it.
He plops off the headphones and they hit his shoulder blades, and he turns around slowly, “What?!”.
“I, well, We, Eirene and I were victims of a freaking hate crime…”, I said pretty calmly, “… We were outside Chapters on Robson, kissing... and a guy came up and spat in our faces…”, I paused waiting to drink in his love for me and wanting him to protect me from this stupid night.
He paused after my own, slowly saying “…Well…you know…you have to be more careful…”. Shocked, I didn’t know what to say. “I don’t mean ‘hide it…”, he said, “…just be more…you know…”.
“What, discrete?!!”, I said.
“…Yeah, you have to be more discrete…”
“You want me to be more discrete?!!! I was fucking assaulted because I was kissing my girlfriend and you want me to be more discrete?!!”, I shouted, completely distressed at the reaction that I was getting. “Fuck discretion!! How the fuck can you say that?!! You’re a real fucking asshole, you know that!!
It took me a few hours, tears and another round of yelling from me to get him to see a shred of the situation. His tone before, was so off of what it should have been given the situation, but my mom is convinced that he is just concerned for me, that he wants me to be safe and he knows that me with a girl will make my life a little tougher, but he has yet to understand that just because something is tough doesn’t make it the right thing to do. If I have to get insults from more strangers, spit in my face again or beaten up one day because I was holding hands with the girl I am in love with – those people are in the wrong, not me, and those actions need to be stood up to. In displaying the realities of my relationship, sure I could run into more crazy people, but I will also certainly walk by girls and boys who may be questioning, afraid of the possibilities, or comfortably in their own homosexual relationships. Seeing others, gives us strength. It’s not even a question for me – but for him...I dunno. Maybe it will take more time, I can give him that, but it’s almost like in these past 6 months he has somehow blinded himself from the daughter he raised. Not recognising the fact that the only thing that has changed, literally, is that I now love a girl who is a far better partner than any of the boys I have had any romantic relationships with.
